Red

It's 1:33 in the morning.

The soul song we share by our dear soul friend Jeff has been playing on repeat.

The moon is full.

The fog is low.

The tears have been flowing as I softly sing.

I had wondered why, when I first saw you, I could not explain what I felt.

This beauty, this energy, this something I can't place.

It's not words, it's recognition.

It's a feeling, a love, a remembrance.

I am so sorry for what happened to you in this life.

The pain must have been so much for you to choose to poison yourself to near death.

I can't guess what happened.

I can only feel.

Were you so beautiful that it attracted the wrong energies in your life?

Or was it the pain of trying to conform to a normal that never fit?

It wasn't your fault.

Those energies prey on the beautiful, the ones filled with love.

And that season made you want to hide.

Hide yourself within your own skin.

To cover yourself with darkness to hide the light that hurts too much to shine.

Underneath all that black.

I see you.

I see you underneath all the ways you've tried to hide it.

I feel the pain.

But I also see the wonder, the curiosity, the playfulness.

It's still there.

Maybe you don't want to be seen.

But I remember.

You might not recognize me in this form.

And my body might scare you.

Please don't look at me and see a figure that has caused you harm like the others.

Look at my heart.

My eyes.

Because our story dates back to when we were formless.

My own curiosity might cause me to stare.

It's innocent.

I don't stare at your flesh.

I'm gazing into your soul.

Because I just feel something I remember.

Something from a past time.

A past place that wasn't here.

I don't know how to express this.

It's awkward for me.

It's never been awkward in the past.

Maybe I've grown beyond the flesh.

Maybe to express what my heart feels is too vulnerable.

Maybe I'm delusional.

But I recognize my people.

And when I saw you sing and dance to Jeff,

I knew.

I just knew.

And my heart warmed.